Should You Choose Private School for Your Child? A Moral Dilemma Explored

Your Mileage May Vary is an advice column that provides a unique framework for navigating moral dilemmas using value pluralism—the idea that individuals hold multiple, equally valid values that often conflict. To submit a question, use this anonymous form.

This week’s question comes from a reader, condensed and edited for clarity:

I’m trying to decide whether to keep my elementary school-age kid in the neighborhood public school or move him to a more exclusive private school. Our public school is okay, but my partner and I feel that he might be more challenged and ultimately better off moving to a private school. However, I’m very aware of the increasing number of students in the U.S. leaving public schools and the impact that has on the children who remain. Public schools receive funding based on student enrollment, so every family that leaves reduces resources for those left behind. I worry that by taking my child out of public school, I’m contributing to that problem, but I also don’t want my child to bear the personal burden of my politics.

Expert Response: Balancing Personal Values and Collective Responsibility

Dear Public School Parent,

Your framing of the question suggests that keeping your child in public school would impose a burden on him. If that were true—if we were discussing sacrificing your child’s well-being—I’d urge you not to be swayed by utilitarian philosophers. They argue that we must prioritize everyone’s well-being equally, with no special treatment for our own children. Under that logic, they might claim it’s wrong to provide your child with a high-quality education while others face underfunded schools.

However, the 20th-century British philosopher Bernard Williams, a critic of utilitarianism, offers a compelling counterpoint. He argues that total impartiality is an unreasonable demand. Williams asserts that moral agency—the ability to act on values and commitments—stems from our individual identities. As specific people, we have unique, core commitments that give our lives meaning and continuity. Williams refers to these as “ground projects.”

A parent’s commitment to their child’s well-being is one such ground project. Williams would argue that any moral theory requiring you to ignore these personal commitments severs you from the very things that define your life. So, if keeping your child in public school truly meant harming him, I wouldn’t suggest it. But you’ve stated that your neighborhood school is adequate—not bad or unsafe. That suggests it isn’t actively hurting him. In fact, it might be benefiting him in ways you haven’t fully considered.

Have a question you’d like answered? Submit it here.