Stephen Colbert Mocks Pete Hegseth Over 'Kamikaze Dolphins' Non-Answer in Viral Monologue

Stephen Colbert sharply criticized Pete Hegseth after the Secretary of Defense declined to "confirm or deny" reports that the U.S. possessed "kamikaze dolphins" as a covert weapon during the Iran war.

The late-night host addressed Hegseth’s evasive response during his Tuesday monologue on The Late Show, questioning the Secretary of Defense’s refusal to provide clarity.

"Well, then clearly we have kamikaze dolphins," Colbert said. "We strapped porpoises with high explosives and then depressed them sufficiently that they’re willing to ram ships in exchange for the promise of herring."

He continued, directing his remarks to the fictional dolphin Flipper:

"What do you think about that, Flipper?"

At this point, the Late Show team cut to a clip of a dolphin whistling, with subtitles reading, "That’s f--ked up."

Colbert responded, "I agree," as the studio audience erupted in laughter. "We’ve got suicidal dolphins."

In addition to the comedic jab, Colbert addressed the potential impact of the Iran war on his parent company, Paramount Skydance, regarding its pending merger with Warner Bros.

"There are reports of the U.S. and Iran exchanging fire. And today, for the second day in a row, Iran hit the UAE with drones and missiles," Colbert explained. "That is dangerous. Not just to [Middle East] peace but to my parent corporation, because Paramount’s bid to buy Warner Brothers relies on $24 billion in Gulf funds, including the L’imad Holding Company, which is run by the crown prince … of the UAE."

He added, "This war could endanger the future UAE-approved version of HBO with the hot Euphoria reboot, Obey Your Parents."

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert airs weeknights at 11:35 p.m. ET on CBS.