Defector Columnist Exposes Shocking Upselling Tactics in Everyday Dining

Going to print with petty retail disputes is usually beneath serious commentary. But I’m shameless enough—and still appalled enough by the upselling tactics I encounter—that I have to share this.

Some influential voices at Defector have occasionally nudged me to write regularly about food. They assume it’s a natural fit because I’m oddly obsessed with eating, though I’m also easily satisfied. My ideal food column would be titled Portions, rating restaurants solely on how much food they pile onto my plate. (This post alone proves why putting me on the food desk would be a mistake.)

But I’m also the most frugal person alive. If I ran a food column, its motto would be: “It ain’t the deal you get, it’s the deal you think you get.” Making customers feel like they’ve received value isn’t science—it’s manipulation. My lunch last week was a masterclass in this artless, relentless gouging. Death by a thousand cuts, but with fees.

Upselling Tactics That Feel Like Highway Robbery

I don’t dine out often, but when I do, I expect transparency. What I don’t expect is to be nickel-and-dimed at every turn. Here’s how the lunch unfolded:

• Bait-and-switch appetizers: The menu listed a $9 appetizer. When the bill arrived, it was $12—no explanation, just a 33% markup disguised as a "chef’s special."
• Mandatory "service charge": A 15% "administrative fee" appeared on the bill, labeled as "required for staff retention." No tipping was suggested afterward, implying the fee was a substitute. (Spoiler: It wasn’t.)
• Upsold sides: The server "strongly recommended" adding a $6 side of truffle fries to my $14 sandwich. When I declined, they sighed audibly and muttered, "Most people get it."
• Drink pricing: A $3 soda cost $4.50 because it was "craft" or "premium." The server insisted it was "better quality," but it tasted like soda from a gas station.
• Desert tax: The $7 dessert came with a $2 "sugar surcharge" for "artisanal ingredients." No ingredients were listed, and the dessert was store-bought.

Where’s the Line Between Upselling and Gouging?

I’m not against restaurants making a profit. But when every interaction feels like a negotiation where the house always wins, it’s exhausting. The worst part? I didn’t even complain. I just paid the bill, left a 10% tip (because I’m a pushover), and vowed never to return.

"Making you feel like you got your money’s worth isn’t a science—it’s an art. And my lunch last week was artless as hell."

Why This Matters Beyond My Lunch Tab

Upselling isn’t new, but the tactics are getting bolder. Hidden fees, mandatory charges, and aggressive recommendations are eroding trust in dining experiences. For frugal diners like me, it’s a reminder that the best deal isn’t always the cheapest—it’s the one where you’re not left feeling robbed.

Next time you dine out, ask yourself: Am I paying for food, or for the illusion of value?