Jimmy Kimmel Jokes About Kash Patel’s FBI Tenure vs. Trader Joe’s Bananas in Viral Monologue

Comedian Jimmy Kimmel turned his late-night spotlight on FBI Director Kash Patel this week, questioning how long Patel’s tenure might last—while joking that a bunch of bananas from Trader Joe’s could outlive him.

Kimmel’s remarks aired Monday during his “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” monologue, responding to a The Atlantic report alleging Patel’s growing paranoia about his job security, unexplained absences, and excessive drinking. Patel has denied the claims and filed a $250 million lawsuit against The Atlantic over the story.

“Patel is reportedly deeply concerned that he’s about to get fired, which… why? I don’t know, does this look like a paranoid guy to you?” Kimmel quipped, flashing a close-up of Patel on screen. “Man, oh man. We all thought Pete Hegseth was the Trump poster boy for drinking too much. All of a sudden, Kash is like, ‘Hold my beer — and my martini, while you’re at it.’”

“Which do you think will last longer: Kash Patel as head of the FBI or the bananas I bought at Trader Joe’s yesterday?”

The speculation follows a wave of recent dismissals in the Trump administration, including former Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem and former U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi.

Kimmel Mocks Trump’s Iran Rhetoric

Elsewhere in his monologue, Kimmel lampooned former President Donald Trump’s handling of the Iran conflict, questioning the credibility of U.S. leadership.

“This is all very weird, especially for those of us who grew up in the ’80s. Did you ever imagine you would be more likely to believe the Ayatollah than the President of the United States?”

He also poked fun at Trump’s frequent mentions of the Strait of Hormuz, a critical shipping lane.

“Or that we would be hearing the words, ‘The Strait of Hormuz,’ 12 times a day?”

Kimmel added, “Our whole lives, the Strait of Hormuz has been so wide open we didn’t even know it existed. We put Trump in charge, and in eight weeks, it’s been blocked more times than Melania’s bedroom door.”

He then mocked Trump’s latest social media threat against Iran, in which the former president declared there would be “no more Mr. Nice Guy.”

“That was Mr. Nice Guy?” Kimmel concluded, incredulously. “Goodbye, Mr. Nice Guy. Hello, Señor Senile Psychopath.”