Trump’s Sleepless Nights: Ballrooms, Polls, and Iran Dominate His Worries

Since the firing of his boss, Pam Bondi, acting Attorney General Todd Blanche has been working tirelessly to secure the permanent role. His latest move: another federal indictment of FBI Director James Comey, this time alleging that an Instagram post of seashells spelling “86 47” was a coded threat against President Trump.

Reading Trump’s Mind
by William Kristol

Christ. It’s four in the morning, and I can’t get back to sleep. I dunno why. I mean, that state dinner for King Charles went fine. And I still look good in white tie!

So why can’t I get back to sleep? I’m getting like that goddamn Macbeth in that play Ivanka made me see. Macbeth was a tough guy. I liked him. But I guess it didn’t end well.

I gotta be honest. I do know why I can’t sleep.

For one thing, the dinner was okay, but I knew all along what the King was thinking: “Really? This is the best they can do?” A “state dinner”? The King doesn’t have state dinners. He throws state banquets. And he doesn’t live in some run-down White House with 132 rooms. He lives in Buckingham Palace. A palace. With 775 goddamn rooms.

And I can’t even get a ballroom added to this dump.

We tried pushing for the ballroom after that assassination attempt over the weekend. But maybe we laid it on too thick? It doesn’t seem to be convincing anyone. And some of the idiot Republicans in Congress are making it worse. They decided to try to suck up to me by saying the government should pay for it. Dunces. I’ve said over and over the ballroom wouldn’t cost the taxpayers anything!!! So now it’s gonna be, “First Trump raised your gas prices, and now he wants you to pay for his ballroom.” That’s just great!

Congress is such a pain in the ass. I was trolling when I told the guys to post that picture this afternoon of me and Charles together, with the caption “TWO KINGS.” But goddamn it—it would be good to be a king.

If you’re king you can ignore Congress. And you can ignore the polls. And now they tell me there’s a new poll that shows 17 percent of my voters say they regret their vote. And they say the war with Iran was the number-one reason, followed by the economy.

Well, shit. Those are connected! Look at the goddamn gas prices. And that goddamn strait they didn’t warn me about.

The Iran thing, that’s the real reason I can’t sleep. What the hell am I going to do? I gotta get out of there. They keep telling me I have to stay the course and raise the pressure and get the nuclear