Mother’s Day Survey Reveals Mothers Crave Personal Time Over Gifts or Activities

What Mothers Really Want for Mother’s Day—And Why It’s So Hard to Get

With Mother’s Day this Sunday, the perfect gift may not be a physical present or a family outing—it might simply be time to themselves. A recent survey conducted by the Rutgers Center for Women in Business asked 288 mothers and 292 fathers to choose their ideal Mother’s Day or Father’s Day gift from three options: time for themselves, a family activity, or a physical gift.

The results reveal a striking contrast in priorities between mothers and fathers, particularly among parents of young children. While 69% of all parents—mothers and fathers alike—prefer a shared family activity, the data shows that mothers are far more likely to crave personal time than fathers are.

Mothers Value “Me Time” More Than Fathers—Especially with Young Kids

Among parents with children under 18, the desire for personal time is significantly higher for mothers. The gap widens dramatically for parents with school-aged children (ages 5–12):

• Mothers: 41.7% prefer time for themselves
• Fathers: 17.6% prefer time for themselves

Conversely, fathers are 1.5 times more likely than mothers to choose a shared family activity:

• Fathers: 73.9% prefer a family activity
• Mothers: 48.8% prefer a family activity

Physical gifts were the least popular choice for both groups.

Free Time Is a Luxury Many Mothers Can’t Afford

The survey found that mothers report having significantly less free time than fathers. This disparity is most pronounced among parents with very young children (ages 0–4), who have 1.5 times less free time than parents with adult children. The early years of caregiving are especially demanding for mothers.

Mothers’ work status also plays a key role in their available free time:

• Full-time working mothers report the least free time and are the most likely to say the best Mother’s Day gift would be time for themselves—especially those with children under 13.
• Stay-at-home mothers report having less free time than part-time working mothers, suggesting that stepping away from paid work does not necessarily create more personal time.

The Invisible Burden of the “Default Parent”

What matters most isn’t just whether a mother works outside the home—it’s how household and caregiving responsibilities are distributed. Mothers who feel these duties are unfairly shared report having substantially less free time, regardless of their employment status.

This often means one parent—typically the mother—becomes the “default parent”: the one who remembers appointments, tracks schedules, anticipates problems, and keeps the household running. Unlike a to-do list, this unpaid labor is invisible, boundaryless, and continuous. It bleeds into paid work, leisure, and even sleep.

Even when mothers do get time off, it’s rarely uninterrupted. It’s often shared with children, interrupted by household tasks, or spent multitasking. This creates what researchers call a leisure gap, where mothers consistently have less leisure time than fathers.

Nearly 40% of Mothers Plan Their Own Mother’s Day

Adding to the challenge, nearly 40% of mothers report making their own Mother’s Day reservations, further adding to their already long to-do lists. This self-reliance underscores the invisible workload that many mothers carry year-round.

“Even when mothers do have time off, it typically isn’t fully their own and is quite often interrupted, shared with children, or spent multitasking. In other words, ‘free time’ doesn’t always feel free.”

Key Takeaways for Mother’s Day 2024

• Mothers, especially those with young children or full-time jobs, prioritize personal time over gifts or activities.
• Fathers are more likely to prefer shared family activities, highlighting a gap in how parents view leisure and caregiving.
• The “default parent” role disproportionately falls on mothers, reducing their free time regardless of employment status.
• Unequal distribution of household labor is a major factor in mothers’ lack of free time.
• Many mothers still handle their own holiday planning, adding to their mental and emotional load.